[Note: as always, if you have a question about the terminology used here, ask away in the comments]
In my quest to find something T-Rated for this week, I read something amazing. One of my biggest peeves with the series is the way that Edward reacts after Bella kisses Jacob in Eclipse. Bella continually hurts both Jacob and Edward in her inability to let one of them go. Don’t get me wrong, I love the books. But something about Bella’s actions just grates on my nerves.
Atlas, Shrugged by Jeesiechreesie is an AU fic that strays off cannon after the kiss into something that, quite honestly, is much better than the actual cannon. Bella and Edward actually communicate (LE GASP) about their relationship issues. Here’s what her summary says:
Bella’s betrayal with Jacob is the final straw to make Edward stumble. Now she has to find the strength to put him back together and face the consequences of her actions. Begins after the kiss in the woods with Jacob. Eclipse AU. E/B
It is the story of Edward and Bella stuggling to piece their relationship back together, to understand eachother, to see eachother as equals; to have a healthy relationship. And it is beautifully written. Excerpt:
It was inevitable that he would know.
He would have heard two hearts beating deliriously; two lungs grasping for breath; two burning bodies in the frozen forest. One mind would have been glorifying in victory, in ecstasy; broadcasting, “Finally,” for the one he knew was listening.
Yet for all this knowledge, he would only hear silence in the one that mattered. He wouldn’t know that when I asked the boy to kiss me, that I didn’t really want it. He couldn’t know my desperation to save the wolf from his pain and rashness. He didn’t know that when I pulled back from his violent response that I had given up. I had already gone above and beyond to prevent his death; he couldn’t possible demand more of me.
Little did I know that of course Jacob did, he would have all of me, which was the one thing I would always refuse him.
Standing outside that feeble tent, on this day of requiem for vampire and wolf alike, all he read in Jacob’s mind, all he smelled on the air, all he heard… was my final response.
My struggle meant nothing, because I succumbed to temptation. I wonder if he could hear the pedestal he had placed me on shattering into thousands of pieces. If Alice could see three hearts being shredded as surely as the newborn army below.
Pondering his omniscience meant nothing, when I knew that for all of his abilities he would never know my thoughts or motives. He would assume I loved Jake as I loved him. He would bear all fault and responsibility for leaving me and try to take this on himself, saying he paved the way for another man. It wouldn’t matter that as the scalding skin pulled me closer, manhandled me, pushed and hurt me, attacked my mouth and went back for more; my body too was saying, “Finally.” My insecurities and vulnerabilities were eschewed as they were presented with evidence of my desirability. As I felt that I was finally a woman and not a china doll. Edward would only ever see it as my revelry in his enemy and my best friend.
I don’t have much to say about this fic, really, because I think it speaks for itself.
While you read: have some hot chocolate or some other warm drink you like. If you enjoy listening to music while you read, make sure it’s something mellow that easily fades to background noise.
I just gotta say, I can’t believe I missed this one because of my preference for M-Rated stuff. Never again.
Now go! Read! The link’s up there ^ Hurry! 
~Britt
